Ten Things You Can Do to Make Your Next Canoe Trip More Exciting

10. Suggest that it would be a good idea to attach hooks to the ankles of the smallest child, and tow him with a rope in hopes of catching a really big fish.

9. Issue cutlasses to the crew before departure, in case of pirate attack.

8. Always refer to the kids' hats as "combat headgear".

7. Identify any rapids you encounter as "x falls", where x= deadman, widowmaker, doomsday, etc.

6. If you run aground, propose to remain in place till freeze up, and then walk out over the ice.

5. Claim that any large birds you see are vultures. Comment about how seem to be following you for some reason.

4. Remember that any fish that gets away is a fresh water shark.

3. Constantly ask one of the kids if he or she is a really good swimmer.

2. About halfway into the trip start inquiring who was in charge of packing the tent. Mention that its going to be a cold night, what with no sleeping bags and all.

1. Tear out a blank end page from a bible, and divide the page into pieces equal to the number of your crew. Make a black spot on one. Fold the pieces up and place them in a hat, and have each of the crew draw out one piece of paper. Whoever gets the black spot is the Jonah, with the understanding that in case of trouble, the Jonah will be thrown overboard, albeit with much regret.

Hong Kong Bird Flu

Joey has been excited to get the bird feeders up and running, but I fear all these birds have brought the H5N1 virus. Zach threw up on Eleanor's Birthday Thursday night. We were at the restaurant but I could tell he wasn't feeling good, so I took him outside so that if he threw up, he wouldn't wreck the evening for everyone else in the resturaunt. He perked up after a while, so we went back inside, but stopped off at the bathroom because I wanted him to try and go potty. As soon as we were in front of the toilet he threw up. Awesome! We went back outside after that, because I didn't want to stay in the bathroom, but I didn't trust him to know if he was going to throw up in time to make it to the toilet either.

Then yesterday afternoon, Squeezie started throwing up, then last night Zoe and Eleanor both threw up (once each in bed, and several times each in the toilet). It was a long night. Joey was going to go the the Stake women's conference, but decided to stay home and take care of the sick kids instead, because I am apparently not qualified.

Here what most of the family is up to this morning (its about 10:00 a.m.).







Its a pretty blah day.